Another Pedestrian Day in Paradise

OK, so being really laid back now, and finding that reading a book is basically unblogworthy, finally something of note has happened. Phyllis rented a car to go to Miami to see Jennifer, get new glasses and go bonkers buying stuff, while I stayed on the boat for the weekend. This suited me fine (since I find shopping as enjoyable as being tortured with boiling oil and rats), and was basically a good move since a big storm blew through with 35 kt winds, which required some adjustments to the moorings of both boats until things calmed down. Everything and everybody survived just fine, although I was cold and wet for a while.

We had to return the car to the Marathon Airport by 12:30, which we did, and then the big blogworthy moment: we said, hey, let's walk back to the marina!! OK, you say, what is the big deal? Well, the walk back is about 6 miles. No biggie, we thought, we will take it easy and browse our way back, checking out all the shops and other establishments of interest (that is politically correct lingo for Tiki Bars). Hey, why not, it's 5 o'clock somewhere, to coin a completely original phrase???

The first thing to note is that Marathon is a really long island and very narrow, so everything is located on the highway that joins Key West to the mainland. By walking down this road, you get to see everything. Lots of old private motels, several of which advertise "the cleanest rooms in paradise", which is probably a clue to the major issue of staying there. Lots of old, non-chain restaurants. We stopped for lunch at Stout's, excellent BLT of 4 bucks. Lots of boarded up ex-businesses. Hard to tell if they'd been that way due to the recession, the last hurricane, or the one before.

After lunch we passed Luanne's Wine and Cheese Bar. Ah, temptation. Remembering that without temptation, there is no virtue, we lingered at the door, smelling the roses so to speak- and virtue was triumphant!! Keep walking, one mile down and 5 to go. After several shop stops, totally unmemorable, more boiling oil and rats, we passed the Brass Monkey. More bloody virtue. I'm beginning to think, if I keep this up, I can probably run for public office, take a bunch of bribes and kickbacks, and retire to the Keys- such are the rewards of virtue. Deja Vu, what is going on here, we are stopping at Barnacle Barney's Tiki Bar on the bay side for a libation.

Now the hard reality sets in. Wearing flip-flops and Crocs (respectively), we had not exactly feathered our walking nest. Once settled into that nice comfy bar stool, cold adult beverage of choice in hand, we realized that the feet were not exactly in shape for the Olympics. Also we realized that despite our advancing years, we were the youngest people there. The Tiki Bar was next to the pool, and the acres of wrinkled flesh and bloated abdomens was a sight that should make the front page of some medical journal on geriatrics. There are a lot of really old people in Florida. They should change the motto from "The Sunshine State", to "The State of Wrinklies: where the young serve the old". One drink, and we are gone.

Luckily Porky's Tiki Bar was just down the road. Hard a-starboard into this delightful step back in time. With the wafting aroma of various pork products being gloriously smoked, we sat down again to sip yet another adult beverage and contemplate how to navigate the last half mile back to the marina. Two problems: 1) the feet did not want to move, and 2) we had to cross the highway to get back to the marina. One and two did not represent a symbiotic relationship, particularly considering that we had about four bags of purchased loot that we were carrying, and several drinks under the belt.

While #1 was not life threatening, #2 definitely was. It was now after 5pm and the traffic was pretty much non-stop going both ways, and of course, there is not a single protected cross walk for miles: you just pick your moment and run like heck hoping to outpace Detroit's finest in threading the needle. Under normal circumstances this would be a stressful event. But after a few key West Lagers, piece of cake. While we actively debated whether it was better to look-and-run, or, not-look-and-run, a very nice gap appeared allowing us to stroll across. Like I said, piece of cake. The good Lord looks after fools and drunks, so I guess we must qualify somewhere in that continuum.

One last note- the weather is still chilly, 50s and 60s, but at least the wind has abated today and it is nice to not be rocking around and getting rained on. Paradise has it's moments. Life has it moments. Great if you can connect the dots.